The 12 Struggles & Their Root Cause

• Many people feel a lot of resistance around niching – and I get it.  The outdated way of thinking about niche was all about demographics: “A woman in her 40s with two kids.”. That’s not useful and it excludes people.

• What matters more is niching to focus on a group of people who have specific psychographics in common– e.g. their values, attitudes, beliefs. For example: People who want to live off-grid because they value simplicity and want to reduce their reliance on capitalism. That’s a niche – and it goes far deeper than age or gender.

• Yes, maybe your therapy could help everyone…  But you can’t market to everyone. And when you try, your messaging can feel awkward, vague, and wishy-washy. You'll find it difficult to talk about your work because you’re not clear who you’re really speaking to.

• Let’s be blunt:  If you needed underfloor heating in your house, would you hire a general handyperson…  Or a specialist who does underfloor heating every day? Exactly.  

• People choose specialists. So will your clients. They want to land on your website or social media and think: “She gets it. She gets me.”

• And to make that happen? You need to get more specific about who you’re speaking to and the transformation that your offer provides for them.  What’s the before and after? Spell it out.

• Clarity converts.  Specificity builds trust.  The confused mind says no.

• You associate marketing with selling your soul. 

• You cringe at the idea of promoting yourself. You don’t want to pressure anyone. You don’t want to sound fake, salesy, or manipulative.

• Real Talk: You're right – a lot of marketing is gross. Pushy FOMO tactics, inflated promises, exaggerated income claims, bait and switch tactics, secret recipe tactics, "get my amazing lifestyle" tactics... None of that fits your values.

• But here’s the truth: No marketing = no clients.

• Reframe:  You don’t need to go against your values. You don’t need to persuade or be pushy. You just need to communicate – clearly, consistently, and generously.

• Speak like a human. 

• Let people know how you help. Your service is just one option among many options. You are not being pushy but telling people your option exists. 

• You can market ethically, quietly, and in your own voice.

• "I'm a technophobic dinosaur!"

• You can’t even find your password half the time.

• You tried building your site… then rage-quit mid-way.

• What’s actually going on?

• You’re not tech-averse – you’re just under-skilled.

• Skill gaps create stress. Skills reduce stress.

• It’s not your personality – it’s practice.

• PS: The right tools for your brain make all the difference

• Simple. Repeatable. Nervous-system-friendly.

• "I put my head in the sand about money"

• You’re not tracking your income or expenses…

• … and therefore you don’t feel like you have a “real” business yet

• Why? Money can be hugely emotive as it links to our sense of security

• Facing our finances can bring up emotional distress

• Be aware that you may need to face your finances slowly and gently

Maybe you feel shy or reluctant to reach out to people.  Or maybe you're just very aware that your social energy is limited, so you keep your interactions minimal.

Either way – right now, you’re leaning back.  But if you want clients to lean in and work with you, you need to lean forward.  You need to initiate connection. You need to start the conversation.

Hard Truth:  Your first clients likely won’t be strangers from the internet (aka: cold leads).  They’ll be people who know you already or friends of friends.  Why? Because they already know, like, and trust you (aka: a warm lead).  They don’t need a polished website or fancy brand to believe you're sound.  They know you’re kind, capable, and sincere – and they’ll be curious about what you’re offering.

Now let’s be clear –  I’m not talking about cold DMs or pretending to catch up just to slide into a pitch.  That’s bait and switch, and it doesn’t feel good for anyone.  (Although, judging by my LinkedIn inbox, it’s clearly still alive and well.)

What we do instead:  We build genuine relationships.  One human at a time.  Because the more people who know what you do, the more likely you are to get bookings – it really is that simple.

So here are your two tasks:  1) Reactivate your network. 2) Gently grow your network

But remember: the purpose isn’t to sell.  It’s to connect.  To widen your circle. To talk to interesting humans.  To remind people you exist – with no agenda. (watch this video). If your business comes up in conversation, great – but let it happen naturally.  

My favourite approach?  To be helpful and encouraging. Share useful links, ideas, or kind words.  Cheer people on.  When you show up like that, the energy comes back to you.  People remember you. They recommend you. They want to help you too.  

Bottom Line:  You don’t need to be “on” all the time.  You don’t need to fake confidence or go to draining networking events.  You don’t need to pretend to be extroverted.

But you do need to talk to humans.  Be generous. Be real. Be visible.

Connection is your currency.

And if it feels hard right now – that’s okay.  Just start where you are.  Build the muscle – one genuine moment at a time.

• Aka impatience combined with a stark reality check: "I didn't know it was going to be this hard"

• You thought it would be easier... but it feels like such hard work

• Yes it is. And 50% of businesses fail within first 5 years

• There are ALOT of hats to wear as a business owner: marketing, finances, serving clients, admin etc. It's steep learning curve.

• Sometimes it feels hard because of the pressure you’re putting on yourself…You're expecting immediate full-time income from part-time hours 

• Reality check: business usually starts slow. You’re not failing. 

• Hint: You’ll only fail if you give up.

• Take the pressure off by working full- or part-time alongside your business

• Slow & steady wins the race